How to Stop Hating and Start Dating in Korea

2 Jun

I’ll be the first to admit I’m not the biggest fan of the Korean couple culture: matching outfits, constant hand holding, PURSE HOLDING? Who am I to begrudge an entire culture. There are other definite positives like love motels on every corner,  multibongs, and DVD bongs which are famous as underage hook up spots. If your going to stop hating you’ve got to start accepting. “it is what it is” will be your mantra from now on. Also like all new personal ventures you need  to know your strengths and weaknesses.

If there something about you that doesn’t fit the Korean mold your going to get some attention especially from the opposite sex: maybe you have curly hair, blond hair, your a little chunky- I one time has a 21 yr old begging to have sex with me because I was “warm” like his mother…. Yes this really happened. My chunkiness is why I think I have gotten the action I’ve gotten. No one is impolite about it either. They try (or maybe that’s just the way they talk) to make it sounds like a compliment…sort of.  In my case he kept saying warming, the word he was looking for was friendly. However comparing me to his mother..uh no no no.  It made me start to think about the way Koreans must view us way gooks. I’ve heard time and time again about Korean women calling their foreigner boyfriend fat. By in large (hehehe) they’re not lying. However when the beauty standard say women should be no more than 50kgs and men 75kgs well yes most westerner are going to be considered portly. That being said what gives them the right to poke fun or just poke in general?

Going along with everything I’ve just said and what I’ve gathered, your best bet in securing a long term relationship with a Korean (guy or girl) is by completely assimilating and even then your going to be getting its an atypical Korean. From what I’ve seen you just don’t date out of your class and dating (seriously and publicly) with a foreigner is just not really done.  However that doesn’t mean you can’t try. Whether that means having your hair styled like your girls/guys favorite Kpop idol, responding to the 30-40 text she will send you every day, or dropping those in wanted pounds. As bias as it sounds I feel girls have a tougher time being taken seriously. Sure girls can probably hook up easier by going to any big club, but fitting that perfect mold is a little more time consuming. However going on the “K pop girl group cup diet” (more on that later), getting a magic straight, and dying your hair an unnatural shade of black brown or red wont hurt your chances either.  When it comes to dressing like a young Korean woman it’s all about that classic look. All of my Korean friends that are married are not trying to be alternative or cover themselves in labels, although a good and expensive designer bag is worth it’s weight in gold as far as status goes.  The women here dress by enlarge in w very classic way. That is being classy while wearing veering short skirts. Cover your top and shorten that skirt. Then again if you have the chest for it wear that low cut top but be prepared for some stares. Pastels are the key for daytimes. Think of  ultra feminine modern mad men era. Here women are expected to dress like women especially if your looking for a husband. Further more men should be dress just as sharp. Jean and your favorite a &f shirt need not apply- I don’t care if it it has a collar and the jean don’t have holes in them-NO! You should be long and lean and your hip bones should always stick out. But you must also work out unless your going for that ultra fem slightly androgynous look.

Now you know what you must do to start dating but how do you stop hating? Easy-

1. Work it out: not only will this help you fit it to those ultra sleek suits guys or get those pencil thin pins ladies ( but ladies remember not work out too much because you can’t have bigger muscles than you boyfriend …it’s just not feminine).

2.Join something… Anything. With all of the free foreigner/Korean lets get together groups your bound to find something and someone to spark your interest. Remember language exchanges are just code word for pre-date screening.

3.Get a Korean hobby : You like music? Start hanging out in Hongdae. You like books start trolling the local bookstores? Maybe fashion is your thing? Head down to Gwangjang market and see if you can have your very own lady and the tramp moment with you both reach for the same ratty sweater. There are so many hobbies to choice from! Hiking has been a big winner from what I’ve heard and I’ve recently taken up cycling. While I may not meet people right now I certainly have an excellent view of nice butts in spandex.

In an effort to practice what I preach I’m going to start  follow my own advice. Dropping the weight will be key and that is my first plan on action. Next will be language and finally once the weight is gone I will attempt show off some of this snazzy ultra fem korean looks and see if this work or I’m just blowing smoke out my a**. I would like to mention that some people don’t need any of my unsolicited advice. I know of a few way gooks who have actually gone on to marry a Korean. However I’m not them, obviously, or I wouldn’t be writing this. This is going to be my social experiment- how far must one go to seriously date. Or at least be taken seriously. We’ll see what happens. My old outdoorsy, loud, self is coming out more and more everyday so this could just be doomed to fail.

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